I’m not saying that all the authors writing in the 21st Century are writing lousy and detestable books—there are quite a large number of excellent authors writing noteworthy books now! At the school in California, I’d be scribbling notes on how to walk an emu or have a wolf accept you as a pack member, but I’d be thinking, “I can’t wait to try this on Scott.”. But he also tends to be forgetful, and is often tardy and mercurial. So, like many wives before me, I ignored a library of advice books and set about improving him. If a behavior provokes no response, it typically dies away. Although the LRS is not perfect, it can still manage to let the animal know that it has done unacceptable behavior. The problem is that once you get a large house with a swimming pool or get that promotion you've been chasing, you gradually get used to it. Help With Success In Health Wealth And Relationships. We all want to know how to be happy, don’t we? For instance, when I buy a toy for my brother, it makes him happy; or when I give flowers to my mother, she kisses me tenderly.

I also began to analyze my husband the way a trainer considers an exotic animal. Now he’s at it again; I hear him banging a closet door shut, rustling through papers on a chest in the front hall and thumping upstairs. At the sink, I hold steady. I also felt that the techniques, which were written in this book were given to readers as a chance to improve and strengthen his/her relationship instead of destroying the relationship by making it worse. After two years of exotic animal training, my marriage is far smoother, my husband much easier to love. In my opinion, the techniques and advice given were amazingly interesting and that all of the reasons behind each technique made plenty sense to me. On a field trip with the students, I listened to a professional trainer describe how he had taught African crested cranes to stop landing on his head and shoulders. To celebrate Modern Love’s 15th anniversary this month, we’re publishing a series of special features — three “classic” essays from the column’s early years and four conversations with writers whose stories were adapted for the television series that begins streaming on Amazon Prime Video Oct. 18. But thinking of my husband as an exotic species gave me the distance I needed to consider our differences more objectively. What Shamu Taught Me About Life, Love, and Marriage: Lessons for People from Animals and Their Trainers, Watch the trailer for the Modern Love TV show, Modern Love columns and Tiny Love Stories, Modern Love: True Stories of Love, Loss, and Redemption. Therefore, we were spoiled by almost teachers and we could enjoy special privileges. I felt as if I should throw him a mackerel. I adopted the trainers’ motto: “It’s never the animal’s fault.” When my training attempts failed, I didn’t blame Scott. What makes me happy? I complained frequently and loudly. I got used being near with them, I do think we are the little family. As I explained the techniques and terminology, he soaked it up. https://www.nytimes.com/2019/10/11/style/modern-love-what-shamu-taught-me-happy-marriage.html, MORE ANSWERS AND INFORMATION ON ANY TOPIC. But as he basked in my appreciation, the piles became smaller. “You are, aren’t you?”. That was all about my life's happiness in general. By nagging, of course, which only made his behavior worse: he’d drive faster instead of slower; shave less frequently, not more; and leave his reeking bike garb on the bedroom floor longer than ever. I quickly ran out of steam and started to walk away. Back in Maine, I began thanking Scott if he threw one dirty shirt into the hamper. We all want happiness,but finding it isn’t simple.Many of us believe that happiness is material wealth,career goals and family harmony.

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