An old age pensioner drove his brand new BMW up to 120 kmph, looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Garda Car behind him.

The police man approaches the driver’s door. I thought you were bringing her back.” The trooper frowns.

She said,"I bet you're going to try to sell me a ticket to the Pennsylvania Trooper's Ball."

The cop approaches your vehicle and says “Do you know how fast you were growing?”.

Originally a german joke so please forgive me if something wasn't that correct. Morty and Selma, an elderly couple, were driving across the country. He quickly runs to the local gift shop and asks the cashier if the store carries anything really special. Just imagine – you’re rushing home with the dog food because it ran out and Yoda hasn’t eaten all day, then you see it: the dreaded cop lights are flashing behind you.

Wanna tell me why you were speeding?". As he's speeding down some curvy mountain roads, the shark loses control of the vehicle and crashes head-on into a tree. An old lady comes out of the car and stumbles up to the cop's window, almost tripping, A man was stopped by the police for speeding. The officer feeling scared called for backup. A man is pulled over by a police officer for speeding on the highway. Give me a good excuse for speeding away from me, and I'll let you go. A cop catches him speeding and pulls him over down the road. I repeat, we are looking for two child molesters, in a blue SUV.". The cop begins to decelerate and the car follows suit. Because he couldn't take his foot off the accelerator. Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! He couldn't take his foot off the accelerator. He asks the man what he does for a living. The police officer catches up to the ca.

Approaching the car, he notices that there are five elderly ladies, two in the front seat and three in the back--wide eyed and white as ghosts. He kept accelerating. The little girl proudly says yes. :Officer: May I see your driver's license? If you’re feeling a little dangerous, you can even use these when you get pulled over – but don’t say we didn’t warn you. Now I'm going to stretch it to 72 inches. A driver is pulled over by a policeman. 100.

The trooper asks the clown "Why were you driving so fast?" The officer says "What in the world are you doing Olie? The Awesome Daily is part of Alony Media. Not looking up from the afghan, his wife says sweetly, "Now don't be silly dear, you know very well this car doesn't even have cruise contr. An old man just fulfilled his lifelong dream and bought a Lamborghini.

The officers however don’t recognise him, and Elton shows the a picture online. I was going up to my parents house doing like 90 mph on this country road and I got pulled over.

The cop yells at him to take it to the zoo, writes. What's the hurry?"

These 19 hilarious funny speeding ticket quotes for when you get ticketed for speeding is the latest gallery to make your day a little bit better. The man saw the cop and tried going faster. There was a moment of silence. "Well, it looks like he forgot to give you a helmet too," the policeman says, "I'm going to have to write you a ticket.".

“One day you take away my license, and the next day you ask me to show it to you.” Some of our favorite traffic jokes: Charlie Viracola, License Plate Number The cop pulls over behind you on a police motorcycle. One-Liner Jokes. ", 40 Ridiculous Tattoo Fails That Are So Bad They’re Hilarious, The Clock Spider Is The Most Terrifying Urban Legend I Ever Heard, 31 Halloween Pictures That Are So Creepy They Should Be Banned Forever, 50 Mobile Wallpaper Inspiration For Those In Need Of a Change, 28 Funny Memes About Hot Girls That Are Spot On But Girls Will Never Admit Them.

It's Friday evening. He looked in his rearview mirror to see the flashing lights of a police car. When he's done he tells the driver, "We don't drive like assholes in Mississippi."

"Sir, I don't have time for this," sh. “Listen here” said the owner, “I’ve got just the horse your looking for, the only thing is, he was trained by an interesting fellow. The cop is going over the whole routine, license and registration. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. Cop says "Listen, It's Christmas, I wanna end my shift and go home, and not have to do paper work. Crap gets scared and jumps out of the car and into the woods next to the road.

The man thought he would outpace it, so he pushed the accelerator to the floor and raced on.

Suddenly he heard sirens behind him. You might as well resign yourself to the fact that the sermon from this cop is gonna take a while. J, Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to charge, "Do you know you were going 20 km/h over the speed limit ?". ". "I saw a sign that said 'Watch for children' and I thought, 'That sounds like a fair trade.'" I’m afraid I. The officer asked the man if he knows why he got pulled over. When he gets up to the window he asks for her licence and registration. But how is it used online? He says, "I"m just a trying to get dis here pig back to the farmer whose truck dis pig fell.

Welcome to The Awesome Daily! If you’re feeling a little dangerous, you can even use these when you get pulled over – but don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! I am going to confiscate your driver's license and I'm calling for a tow truck to take away your car. When the officer was writing them a ticket, his radio buzzed, "We are looking for two child molesters in a blue SUV. A cop has pulled a man over for going 150 in a 60. Why was the leper caught speeding? * **.

All of those speeding tickets I've paid *must* be buying them some pretty good stuff.

The two cars raced for some time, the speed rising to sixty, seventy, eighty, ninety, then the. The cop nudges his partner and says "She's a blonde, just watch this", A Pennsylvania State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book. ", Jim strode into a stable, looking to buy a horse. 19 car jokes. Police 1: do you know how fast you are going? “You cops should get it together,” she said. He was driving above the speed limit, when a police car suddenly came up in his rearview mirror sirens blaring. Hi I’m Ramona. They put up a "Slow down, speed limit" sign - with no effect. The trooper says, “If you can give me a reason for speeding that I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you go.” The old gentleman replies, “Years ago, my wife ran off with a State Trooper.

Guy replies, my wife disappeared 22 years ago, and every time I see a police car I panic: A man in a truck is speeding, looking quite frantic, and gets pulled over by a policeman. Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn,and yelled,"PULL OVER", So Olie gets pulled over by an officer of the law for running 100 mph through the middle of town with a pig in the passenger seat.

He approaches the car and notices the penguin in the car and asks, "What the hell is this!?"

Guy had a nice sports car and wanted to test it out, then tried to shake the cop when he saw he was being pulled over. Officer says, "I have to give you a ticket for not wearing your glasses.

The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing someone’s cast. J. A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. Problem Solved – How satisfying is That Expression? One day, the General Secretary was late leaving his country home to get to Moscow. A big list of speeding ticket jokes!

Was going up and down the corridor on her zimmer frame when an elderly retired policeman jumps out in front of her. Shoves him back in the car, walks around to the passenger side, repeating the process. Instead, to deter speeders, the are giving away Bears tickets. I really don't want to be filling in paperwork so tell you what? the man replies, "i'm a juggler in a circus, and i'm late for my next show. Then I fucked up by telling her "and that's not even the drinks talking". He closed his ticket book, tipp, That desperately needs my help.

Upon arriving home a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Eventually, the cop pulls over and the car pulls over as well. "Keep it, when you collect four of them, you get a bicycle.".

The largest collection of the best one line jokes in the world.

says the policeman as he writes the speeding ticket.

Going over 100 mph, he realizes the civilian's car is going way too fast and needs to slow down. My friend leaned over and said, "Sherman did.". apologize and say “Sorry officer, it won’t happen again” or. Manners says "Where's crap" and jumps out of the car and into the woods to look for him. 21. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. I also enjoy film photography and hiking. The man thinks for a second and says "my wife ran off with. Cop: You were speeding! There was a Blonde driving down the center of the road at 100 mph. When she had stopped, the officer asked, "License and Registration please" "It's okay, Officer, I have a special license that allows me to do this," she said smiling. Then, "Danger, road hazard!" A police officer pulls over an elderly Jewish guy for speeding. She replied: “I know! He doesn’t go and stop the usual way. The man replys that he was speeding because the cars stolen and he has a big package of drugs in th boot. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Russian dolls are so full of themselves. A cop pulls over a blonde for speeding and asks her for her license. The passenger pl, The cop says: "You were going 55 mph in a 30 zone". "I'm a juggler" says the clown. for speeding but the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. Approaching the car, he noticed that five old ladies were inside, and they looked wide-eyed and terribly pale. Donald was driving , Barack was in the passenger seat ,and Kim Jong Un was riding in the back seat. The cop told me and my buddy that nobody goes that fast through his county.

The cop approaches the car and the driver rolls down the window. The way to get him to stop is to say "heyhey", and the way to get him to go is, You tense up and pull over to the side of the road. The trooper asks what is a 72 inch (6 foot) asshole going to do.

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