And it was like my parents kind of just—it was too much for them. WHITNEY CUMMINGS: I don’t get a cheque everytime I get mad at my mom. To receive tour updates, special podcast clips, and a video message on your birthday! I think we forget our basic [gratitudeless?]
That’s the key to it, I think. But it’s—you’re like, “All right, this is my last farewell tour,” And soon after, you’re going to die. Is that something you’re willing to change or not? That’s how you grow. People always tell me, “Gosh, I didn’t even know what he said to me, but I talked to him for 20 minutes and he’s just like the coolest guy. Something [inaudible] for some reason, I just knew that you had an older sibling just in the way you were talking there. WHITNEY CUMMINGS: No stripper poles, no thank you.
Because I think that the problem with chemistry clouds our frontal lobe. I only have one, but yeah. I really like [inaudible]—I want to say I like [inaudible] someone I really like you [inaudible] I feel weird [inaudible]. Now you’re getting an insight into the part of my brain I’m not proud of because I get really indecisive and I get really dichotomous in my thinking because my first instinct was you don’t owe anyone anything and no one owes you anything. So it’s like to just put stuff out to stay in the zeitgeist is—I personally don’t know a lot of comics. You can get started today for a limited time. These tools can really help us grow when we apply just one principle from someone who’s been there, who’s done that, who’s achieved great things, who’s had big failures. I think that because taste is changing and like what you just said—what’s funny is changing. That’s when I get a little bit like, “Wait a second.” Greatness is staying in your lane and fixing yourself because you’re the best way to—is to lead by example. WHITNEY CUMMINGS: But am I like trying to fix problems, am I trying to fix the world?
I was just really constantly in those relationships and I was in relationships where I would do 80 they would do 20 because to me—my workaholism, that was just my comfort zone. I’d love to hear your thoughts, your specific thoughts. WHITNEY CUMMINGS: We call it passion, we call it chemistry, we call it butterflies when that’s really just your body saying stay away from this person. Now, let the class begin. My parents were passive-aggressive, there was no love or affection. There’s a couple jokes, I’m like—, WHITNEY CUMMINGS: I know this never—this one is just for me. Beam is making waves in the wellness industry by offering products that combine 100% THC-free CBD with other high-quality ingredients to seamlessly become a part of your lifestyle. I think he’s just so endearing and he’s so charismatic and maybe he’s the exception to the rule.
WHITNEY CUMMINGS: I did made robots. Like get your shit together and then we’ll talk about what you can do for other people. LEWIS HOWES: I love the quote or the meme that’s like, “My father always taught me to treat the janitor as the same as the CEO.” Or it’s like, always treat people with equal kindness. I was in a place where I could really receive it and I was ready to change. I feel really lucky that I got to have a little bit of both growing up. I was dancing around. WHITNEY CUMMINGS: That’s a good one.
So my thing was like, “Here’s all my trauma and here’s all the terrible things that happened to me and here’s all my—and it just—, LEWIS HOWES: “How interesting and complex I am.”, WHITNEY CUMMINGS: It gives you this false sense of emotional progress with the other person, this false sense of intimacy that’s just not real and you’re in this house of cards. I think it was—probably my—I don’t know. I think I saw you at whatever Comedy Store, which one is it? [inaudible]. So get ready to learn all about codependency and reinventing yourself on, When did you realize you were good at stand up? I love what you said about forgiveness because I remind myself on a daily basis: We forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness, but because we deserve peace. LEWIS HOWES: [inaudible] and sitting around all day. LEWIS HOWES: Do you feel like you got to say everything you wanted to say to him? WHITNEY CUMMINGS: Totally. WHITNEY CUMMINGS: I don’t even know what I’m saying. I mean, some people. Try BEAM and find your path to better! And it’s also I think, as a kid, because you don’t understand the emotional one plus one equals two so you’re just trying whatever you can, and the same thing you’re punished for one day you’re rewarded for the next day. Like we have to kill our old self, kill our ego—, WHITNEY CUMMINGS: It’s such a shame because—. LEWIS HOWES: How did the relationship end for you when he passed? My parents had my brother when they were 19. Like when we met, I was like, “This doesn’t work for me. I don’t like [inaudible].
It’s emotional negotiation that’s like, what’s tolerable.
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If it worked, I’d do it. If I can support you in any way, just let me know. My bar is really low. You can go to blinkist.com/greatness to start your free 7-day trial.
LEWIS HOWES: Listen to someone who’s wrong and not trying to make them right? LEWIS HOWES: it’s interesting, I felt very similar. In order to make good art, you have to have a life and you have to make mistakes and you have to go out in the world. Whitney Cummings is a stand up comedian, actress and producer.
He’s just such a nice guy. It’s just really acclimating to my new circumstances. WHITNEY CUMMINGS: I love this. It seemed like one tweet was what ruined thousands of people’s—. LEWIS HOWES: [inaudible] everything and everything else, yeah. And then it doesn’t get the reception you want and you feel worse. LEWIS HOWES: You got like 7 and a half in here.
So I’d love to hear your thoughts.
I’m there a couple nights a week.
LEWIS HOWES: Did you always want to be in comedy? LEWIS HOWES: Lots of tools. I wrote about it in my book. This radical “I’m perfect the way I am all the time” — look at our environment, look at our world catching on fire. A lot of your thoughts and beliefs just aren’t true. His wife is Meagan Good. WHITNEY CUMMINGS: I’d be magnetically attracted to people whose approval I could never get. For me, it’s not possible to just go, “Ah, I love myself,” out of nowhere. Whatever I say works? Sorry now I’m rambling. I can, but I’m not going to. Copyright Whitney Cummings.
I want to beat Sam Harris. It’s okay.” For me, it was really—I had to write lists.
LEWIS HOWES: I’m going to be rich, right? That’s something that really helps me when I walk through [inaudible] because I’m like, “Nobody owes me, nobody owes me anything,” when my expectation starts getting too high.
So I think insecurity can be a good fuel sometimes. It’s like, to me, I never understood what added up.
And just sort of the unhooking and the only way to win is to not play and to don’t just do something, sit there.
She created the CBS sitcom 2 Broke Girls, the NBC sitcom Whitney, and the movie The Female Brain. That’s all that was. You do things out of obligations. It was just adrenaline. They’re in their own insecurity. WHITNEY CUMMINGS: No. Once you approve your 3D preview, then Candid creates custom clear aligners that will be sent directly to you. LEWIS HOWES: Like when you take ownership for everything in your life and responsibility, that’s when you feel like, “Okay, I can trust this person.” Maybe they’re going to mess up, maybe they’re going to make mistakes. Something like that question. It takes a year to put a good special together. I want to hear your thoughts. LEWIS HOWES: This one that you just said? LEWIS HOWES: New story.
This is my final question for you for this interview and I hope I do more with you in the future.
It’s actually kind of jarring. LEWIS HOWES: And then you resent everything. And someone told me later, they were like, “You do a really good job of asking and listening.” And—.
This gets like 70% of the reactions of the other ones but I like it.
LEWIS HOWES: This is $45 as well. We obsess about what other people think about us to really realize they’re just not thinking about us at all. It’s almost like they went crazy in a sense. This sort of interdependence, not codependence was something that really took me a long time to learn. But yeah, and I have a new stand-up special. and it has a robot in it. I’m talking about 20 things, I’m gonna be like, “Damn, this guy’s—”.
And you also ask it and then let the person answer. I’ve spent so much time doing that. It’s hard to be brave if you’re just sitting on the couch and not doing anything that scares you if you’re not taking any risks, but you become more brave. This is the first time I entered a relationship as a business deal. WHITNEY CUMMINGS: He handled everything. Leaving some kind of impact. When anxiety can be a good thing in life, the importance of loving yourself in a way that is also self-aware, the addiction of being a victim, and how Whitney broke free of all of it herself, and doing work for yourself and not for the reward. LEWIS HOWES: Or you can be a new—sorry, I interrupted you there. WHITNEY CUMMINGS: I just feel like for the most part—I mean, a lot of really tricky things happened to me as a kid, I have a lot of trauma, the whole thing, and I do EMDR, and I’m in a 12-step programs. Text them the link lewishowes.com/832. Why?” Like you look at your friends and you’re like, “Oh my gosh. It’s time to go out there and do something great. What are the esteemable actions? The night you saw me, I made $15. (51:00), How do you deal with the Hollywood ups and downs? You’re hurting yourself. And I feel like we’re just so wound up, like everything is personal. WHITNEY CUMMINGS: Crazy.
LEWIS HOWES: They can’t be an addict, they can’t be whatever it is.
Everyone’s getting their tickets last minute. WHITNEY CUMMINGS: That’s right. Whether you’re driving, whether you’re in the gym, waking up in the morning, 15 minutes to get the whole book at blinkist.com/greatness. Why am I going to give this thing a year of my life or whatever. WHITNEY CUMMINGS: It’s like this switch you have to turn on and off, but it’s also—you can do the same set, same jokes, same way two nights. And for me, personally.
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