Can I add a few more descriptors, eg., manipulative, cruel, callous, un-empathetic and the list goes on and on. It is an opportunity to heal any leftover negativity left over from the relationship and the breakup. Would you want someone drilling you with questions as to why you’re not showing more interest after one date? They might latch onto an occasion such as a birthday, Valentine’s, or Christmas, convincing themselves the ‘magic’ of these will slot everything into place, only to wind up disappointed. It’s almost like he had either come with an agenda to really be rude, or did it subconsciously because he was already biased against me since he really wanted to go for that other woman deep down. How are you suppose to forget that an ex boyfriend cheated on you repeatedly? I’ve been divorced for three years now and have two young children. It’s obvious that you’re not ready to start dating again. If you cannot see this reality then the more incensed and downtrodden you will become. What can she offer you, except to bring you down mentally and spiritually? I don’t know why she’s stick stuck in her bad boy phase. What she needs to learn is that if she can’t stand up for herself, then he’s just going to continue to walk all over her. Yes agree with the drama (refer to a couple of notches above). Ironically, after I wrote that post, the woman he was leading a double life with showed up at the coffeehouse where I hang out. Linden, will you clarify? Tinkerbell – you forgot “it doesn’t matter if they are DEAD too! Thank god for that. You deserve someone who’s going to put in effort to see you and impress you. Be careful not to overlook someone being, well, a jerk, just because he has other traits that you like (in other words, hoping for him to turn out to be something other than what he is showing himself to be). I’ve promised myself that I will do better at being shouty about things I've done or am doing. If not, why would I think it’s my job to teach another adult not to go around calling random people “bitch”? A few weeks later he went back to his toxic ex and I struggled with guilt, thinking that me withdrawing my support had driven him back into her arms. And then responded and tweaked and adapted as I went. eing friends with someone you still love while they are with someone else is one of the hardest things to do. I miss her. That might be why I am attracting all those douchebags who have zero real interest in me but who still want to maintain me in their harem. If you find he is constantly taking verbal shots at you and saying demeaning things, draining you of your confidence, then yes, your are in an unhealthy relationship. It’s bloody lonely, infuriating, soul-destroying and shaming. I love your comment Courtney and totally agree with it. I have blocked everything from him and refuse to even read his rantings. Nothing was going bad, I was very concentrated in my studies and my job and definitely didn’t see this coming. He was asking for another chance. He made you feel inadequate and undeserving of anyone else, telling you no one will want you. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. He was playing games and seeing how much he could get away with AND still keep me on the backburner. The fact is that I have come out of the desire to be in a relationship and like my quiet life. I agree with that: it’s totally his prerogative. I understand well that those first few days after a breakup are the worst – the days when you have to constantly remind yourself that things have changed. Maybe someday you will come to the point where you will think of him with some form of neutrality or even mild pity (for no one is more pitiful than this guy), but don’t worry about that now. Hey everyone!
    1. . What goes around comes around. Feistywoman, maybe bitter wasn’t the right word, negative maybe, Peanut is quite young and I will be honest if someone said to me after I had expressed my wish of what I am longing for that I would have to wait a long time then yes I would be a bit upset, maybe at our advanced ages we don’t see the positive side due to a lot of years of experience but I don’t want to be negative about it either, there are nice guys out there, all hope is not lost, I guess I just don’t see why we can’t be a little bit positive that’s all. He’s now working on my second coworker. Sometimes we spend a little too much time wondering why someone who we gave so much of ourselves to, would return to somebody who mistreated them and gave so little in comparison and we forget to empathise, in spite of the fact that if we did, it would actually provide the true answers about why they left. This is what I’m talking about. You are putting waaaaay too much energy into people you do not know!!!!! He made me feel so worthless all the time. I am still learning this too. You’ve lost so much time, etc, already and it would be a travesty if you continued to spend a lot of time thinking and rethinking what coulda, woulda, shoulda been different. Scary how many narcissists and ACs there are.. He is angry on me n he is not ready to talk or meet me as his parents told him not to be in any contact with me. He’s doing for HER because he still CARES. The relationship is draining cause it seems like we are both trying to hurt each other, keep bringing up the past, child like tantrums and not talking for days or even weeks, yet everyday he will text me sweet texts and saying he misses me, yet our relationship is not going forward, just circling around the same old. My internal defense mechanism kicks in immediately when I sense someone deliberately said something hurtful to me. But it is true that it has been a long emotional process for me…all my adult life with one person and all the interactions, habits, hurts, and accommodations I made…they really affected my self esteem…still working on that and I think it will take awhile.

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